I Believe.

I Believe, people are mostly good
i Believe, in gratitude
i Believe, in being optimistic
i Believe, that I'm a "fixer" but some things
i Believe, i cant fix, but
I Believe, that with enough time, anything can be fixed
i Believe, that everyone deserves love.
i Believe, people are still people despite anything
i Believe, that if anyone is going to respect you, you have to respect yourself first
i Believe, that someone Else's gain, is NOT your loss
i Believe, in being as Christ like as i can
i Believe, im not perfect,
i Believe, that you cant let praise or criticism get to you, it becomes a weakness to get caught ,up in either one.
i Believe, in continuing to love your self despite
i Believe, in forgiveness
i Believe, in happiness
i Believe, in laughter
i Believe, in love
i Believe, in success
i Believe, in being strong
i Believe, that after all you can do. HE will do it for you.
i Believe, we are not given more than we can bear
i Believe, in staying true
i Believe, in confidence
i Believe, that perspective changes everything
i Believe, that exercise is the best medicine
i Believe, your weaknesses can become your strengths
i Believe, that crying is necessary
i Believe, i have a wonderful life
i Believe, that god loves me,
i Believe, he loves everyone
i Believe, that Jesus died for me and understands my every thought.
i Believe, she shares my pain and my joy
i Believe, that sadness is good, because it makes the happiness scream louder
i Believe, that darkness exists so we are grateful for the light
i Believe, that i am loved no matter what
i Believe, in living for today, learning from yesterday, and hoping for tomorrow
i Believe, in fighting for all that i believe

I also Believe, that when you type Believe enough it starts to look like its spelled wrong(:

9 Years Ago, my life changed for ever.. im grateful.

Feb 15 2003

My dad was in a horrible accident that changed mine, my family's and our closest friends lives forever.

My dad was the most amazing heartfelt Christ like man that ever lived. He was not perfect but by acknowledging that, it made him perfect.

Steven Craig Seegmiller,

strong, passionate, giving, loving, tender hearted, tough, hilarious, father, husband, son, brother, uncle, friend, example, a latter day saint, and so much more, i saw him cry more than i saw my mom cry but its just because he was SO strong willed and passionate in what he believed in.

He spent the last 4 years of his life trying to make up to the lord all the stuff he missed out on in his past, when he was not fully converted to the church, but the day came and he was fully converted and chose to live his life in a way that showed it through every action and every thought.

Feb 15 2003, My dad was in a four wheeler accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down, he broke vertebrae's C4 and C5 and for a year and half our lives were utterly different, he fought though, for me, for Madison, for Jordan, and for my incredible Mom,

Mom i don't know how you do it. raising 3 girls completely alone, all teenage hormonal prepubescent stages had to be tough trying to tackle that all by your self but were all turning out pretty OK so good job!! come to think of it... Dad got out just in time? who wants to deal with teenage girls ? not i.

Ilove my mom and all the people that were there for my family during this traumatic but powerful and growing, challenging time in our lives.

even though sometimes it sucks and its not fair, i miss my dad, but i can feel him close to me as i live my life. I'm OK with it, I'm grateful for the challenge of not having him here but its taught me and continues to teach me to be strong. I'm content with my life and not having a father. and most of all I'm content to be a chosen spirit and daughter of my father and my heavenly father.

~

These are my journal entries from February 15 2003, I was 10 years old. it is now February 15 2012 I'm 19 years old and so grateful for the few moments I shared with my journal and friend during that time.



"--February 15 2003

Today my dad was out riding the forwheeler all by himself looking for dogs when his fourwheeler rolled on him and he got stuck under it for five hours not able to move. finally a guy came and got him out and they hellecopptered him out they had to put him to sleep though because he said he heard a pop in his neck so they thought it was broken but before they put him to sleep he asked for his picture to be taken and they did. so now he's alseep i just barely got to see him. he has tubes down his throught and a big string thing around his head to his mouth. they put him paralized so he wouldnt be in pain their just about to load him into the hellecoppter to take him to L.D.S. Hopsital he was in U.V.R.M.C Hospital first. he's loading now, his eyes are taped shut so they dont dry out theyre loading him in now and strapping him down. My mom is in Tears, people say she's still shocked. Tyler & Angie, Charlie & Dian, Toby & Natalie, The Bishop, The Lees, My Grandma Suzy & Grandpa Denny, My Grandma Judy and her sister aunt Sloan, & My uncle Carl are all there at the Hospital my mom is driving to L.D.S hospital to make sure he's alright, tomorrow he's going into sergery. were staying with michelle and scotty Brockbank they were there too and so was July shipp.

--February 16 2003

today we went to church with Arianna and Brelin we got home. My dad had his sergery at 10:00 my mom just called michelle and told her that the sergery went great we dont know if he is paralized yet but i kno he's not i know he is going to be the same o'l cowboy he is i can tell you he's been through worse man he has 100 lives or something but last night was the worst night i kept dreaming that my dad died and i woke up atleast 6 times in the night to go to the bathroom and i usually dont even go once. oh yah and i forgot to tell you that he did break his neck. Today we are all fasting for my dad. Arie, Bini, Me & Maddie. Jordo is the only one not fasting. after im done writing we are going to make a big poster for him and its going to go all around his room. as soon as i know some more information ill right it down. well by Journal.

-- later today my grandpa denny and uncle chris came by we were making the poster they signed it my grandpa said he had already seen my dad my grandpa said that all the tubes and wires were out and off of him and he's breathing by himself. He has a neck cast thing and he'll be out of the hospital in about 1 month he's doing alright. Debbie and her new boyfriend Matt came over and they signed the poster too. i drew a really good horse, boot, hat & horshoe. yep he's the same o'l crazy cowboy he used to be i knew he would be okay. by. Taylor

--February 17 2003

We slept over at Ari and Bini's again for another night. we are video tapping a dance to perform for my Dad. we are going to go visit him right after we tape it and were tapping it right now. i just found out that he cant go to my daddy daughter date its on thursday todays monday so im either not going or tobby is going with me."

 It is written just the way it was in my journal,

 so forgive the spelling, i was only in the 5th grade.

-Love Taylor Seegmiller

under the four wheeler for 5 hours. 

many months in the hospital 

i love my dad with all my heart and im so grateful we will be together forever. also i love all the people whom i have in my life! thank you all for everything you do !

We are More than We are, We are One.

As you go through life you ll see, there is so much that we.. don't understand..
And the only thing we know, is things don't always go.. the way we planned..
But you'll see everyday that well never turn away, when it seems all your dreams come undone. we will stand by your side, filled with hope and filled with pride,
We are more than we are, we are one.
If there's so much i must be, can i still just be me.. the way i am..
Can i trust in my own heart, or am i just one part.. of some big plan.
Even those who are gone, are with us as we go on, your journey has only begun..
Tears of pain, tears of joy, one thing nothing can destroy,
is our pride deep inside, we are one,
family, family, we are one. family, family, we are one.
We are one you and i, we are like the earth and the sky, one family under the sun..
All the wisdom to lead of the courage that you need, you will find when you see, we are one...

just one of those days. the down kind of days, i miss my dad.

 a revelation my mom had,

The lion king.

 i watched it over and over and over again from age 2 until age 6, my pet simba that my dad got me i took everywhere, and just now im piecing together that its MY story. i bawled when mufasa died at age four,

 and i bawled today as i watched it and thought of my own dad.

 "But dont worry daddy, Hakuna Matata is up soon".

Me and My Simba, Me.

He lives in you, in your relfection

he lives in me, in my relfection

Simba, you have forgotten who you are,

 and so forgotten me.

Taylor, you have forgotten who you are,

 and so forgotten me.

Look inside your self, you are more than what you have become.

you must take your place in the circle of life.

Remember who you are

Simba,                                                                                                                                                        Taylor,

you are my child,

and the one true king.

and the one true you,

 daughter of heavenly father.

daughter of my father.

remember who you are,

remember.

Army of Heaven.

(the Salt Lake Temple is the most special to me, its where me and my family were sealed together for eternity)

This general conference with still one more session to go and i feel so overwhelmed with the spirit, what profound messages were spoken today, and with a knowledge of this church.
The prophets message today touched my heart, and when he smiled, it was the warmest smile, i have ever seen and made me want to laugh and cry, tears of happiness, his smile was comforting and genuine, and i know for a fact this man is called of god.

I have such a special love of our temples, not only are they a beacon of our testimonies, but i want to visit every single one, with a new temple now going up in Rome Italy,
but what enormously touched me this afternoon was the closing song, my whole body was consumed with goosebumps and i teared up, listening to the incredible words of this song,
My journal entry states:

WE are the army of heaven. our church is growing at such an incredible rate, all of the saints, in that building, I'm one of the saints, we will make it. watching them sing, the armies of heaven their gathered in that conference room and we are here all over the world. my brothers and sisters, were going to make it. we have to. its so important and those on the other side are waiting for us! This IS the true gospel, i can feel it and i know it with all my heart, the holy ghost is here with me, i know this is the truth, the true church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I have a testimony of this church.

i hope everyone has a beautiful Sunday

Quote for today~

Ill always come back to this one,

 its one of my all time favorites.

 it was said today in my church meeting and i love the way it makes me feel,

so I'm hoping it makes you feel the same.

~ God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe he doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten, Though we are incomplete God loves us Completely.. Though we are imperfect, God loves us Perfectly, Though we may feel lost and without compass, Gods love Encompasses us Completely.~

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf-

 hope everyone has a truly wonderful holiday!

Priesthood. No Father.

Life is hard. for EVERYONE.

I have the strongest testimony of the priesthood.

I never liked blessings because it always frustrated me that i couldn't have my father give me one. He isn't here to do it.

I understand now, he is still using his priesthood.

In a time i was in desperate need of a "pick-me-up".

The man I truly believe was called upon to take my fathers place when he passed away, was in St George for a marathon, and he gave me a blessing.

I know he has so much love for me . 

I can feel it through his hands on my head, the hugs, and the tears we shared. 

Its confusing sometimes.

I think i forgot what its like to be loved by a father. Its a feeling you honestly will never know until its gone. But this weekend i was able to feel that,

It was indescribable.

I'm so thankful i have the lord working with me and that i can ask for a blessing and receive it. THE GOSPEL IS TRUE.

I have a father on the other side protecting me and strengthening me.

And i have so many father figures on this side doing the same.

~

One of my favorite quotes

"Sometimes life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"

Struck by Insight

Ive been on a reading spree lately,

 its my only way to ESCAPE st George.

this week i read "when the bough breaks" i started it last year and didn't finish,

so i started it over, as i was reading i realized that a year ago it didn't mean anything, but when i picked it up this time, i was reading about me..

it was basically my story, laid out in front of me, and it gave me so much insight.

~

Today was also conference, it was different this year though, because i chose to watch, i wasn't just doing it because my mom made me. 

 i loved it,

 Our prophet is truly incredible might i just say.

I loved the second session yesterday, elder Gong's talk, and the second session today, I cant remember all the elders names who spoke but the talk about "addiction", the talk to "parents of teenagers" and elder Bednars talk.

 I don't want to choose favorites but (he is my favorite [:).

 Today I was taught I can call on the savior whenever I need him,

 if I'm doing what he asks, he will do what I ask in return.

and the devil has no power over me.

 if i stand by Christ in all times, he will and always has stood by me, 

my testimony was strengthened today and everything just became so clear.

 truly and insightful day. 

I hope yours was too

Angels & Airplanes?

No.. shooting stars!  

3 kids, 11 pm. full of energy, nothing to do, so me, & my clever mind, suggested we lay down in the middle of the street ..

we did.. 

As we lay laughing and talking and laughing some more, we witnessed 8 yes eight, shooting stars.

it was incredible, i found my self wishing the same 4 things on every single one, does that mean they absolutely have to come true ?

i hope..

I guess it lays in the hands of god, after all he is the creator 

he will decide

if what i wish will become.

--------------------------------------------------------------- 

"god really does send angels"

drove out to my cousins recently upon arriving, a little old neighbor came over frantic and asked if we had seen a little dog, we hadn't, so she rushed away, my cousin offered to help her look.

it was hot, i was tired, the last thing i wanted to do was look for a dog, but my conscience got the best of me.

So with that i jumped on the beach cruiser and set off down the road.

not thirty seconds into my bike ride i see a tiny chiuaua running across the road headed for the highway,

so i jump off the bike to grab the tiny dog, walk around the corner, dog in hand, saw the woman and said is this the dog ? she ran to me bawling and hugging me exclaiming  

"god really does send angels"

She told me how i just answered her prayer, and then she just stopped and started crying so i put my arm around her and hugged her. 

On a side note:  

The love that poured from stranger to stranger, made me feel so good, though it was just a tiny dog, I'm grateful for the inspiration i had to look for little Elliot and I'm glad i had the drive to follow it.

Welcome home Elliot! 

She told me i deserved an extra banana split tonight! woohoo.

just goes to show how the little promptings from the spirit, really mean something.

 have a wonderful sunday night [:

Sunday Post!

My Scripture of the day D&C 82:10

I the lord, am bound when ye do what i say; but when ye do not what i say, ye have no promise.

 [ Its short and sweet and too the point, but the point it makes is so drastic and blunt, i love it and its true, the lord will give anything that's asked of him, he does it for me everyday, but we have to hold our end of the deal.]

 Today, on this wonderful fast Sunday, a man in my ward stood up and bore his testimony, i listened to it, like all the others but was not very interested, but then he said something that stood out to me, he said, his friend was baptized and his first Sunday at church he saw a man from his work, and he told the man from my ward that he would have never known that other man was a Mormon, well the man from my ward jokingly said, he must not have been a very good one.

that hit me kind of hard, it made me think, do others look at me and know I'm a Mormon or do they think wow i never would have guessed, it made me realize i want to be the girl that people know I'm a Mormon, they know I'm LDS by the example i set and by the way i live, i am proud of what i am and i want other people too see that as well, so this my goal for the rest of the summer and the upcoming school year.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reading in my journal i came accrossed this. "A funny conversation i had with a guy from my work, named fat kid, he was from Chicago, and was telling me how everyone of his friends were wishing him luck in "mormonville" his chief 'goal' was to find out the myths that everyone is told about, he then asked me how many moms i had, i laughed and said just one, he asked me if i had horns i obviously said no, although we wish we could grow extra body parts.. we cant..., he asked if we really couldn't eat chocolate, if LDS stood for Lying Deceitful Satanists, if the reason we don't allow others into our temples is because we really worship Satan, and what our 'cult' truly believes in. i know i shouldn't but i think this is all so funny how ridiculous it all is. i explained to him the difference in RLDS and FLDS and how WERE different, i told him what we believe, were not evil, and we can eat chocolate." I believe when most people meet a Mormon they notice the warmth and light we give off. at least i do.. and its funny how much time some people have on their hands to come up with these theories.

I had a good laugh! have a beautiful sunday!

[Empty Pages..] laughter..

Laughter, silence, the soft hum of the eager voices, awake, its late,
laughter, yet again the beautiful sound of peace and joy, true authentic wholeness, love, friendship, laughter, the wind whistles throughout the trees, the leaves rustling amongst each other, laughter, all is quiet, laughter, serenity, peace, innocence, hope, gratuity, hoping to be as innocent and naive as i once was, as they are, Laughter do continue , fulfill my soul..

[i love the innocence and energy a group of girls brings to each other, the love the caring, the naive spirits, laughter in every word that leaves the lips its beautiful.]

:. loving this song, listen to all of it if you get the chance.:

[Empty Pages..] letter to Jesus..

Jesus, please.. tell me who I'm supposed to be,
I'm not understanding who i am,, or what god wants me for me, About you, i hear so many things , why is it some make me fear you & your being,
I know of your love and nurturing spirit, What comforts me is knowing your my brother, & your there to hear it.There to hear my needs and my desires, you bring peace to my life, even when my soul slowly tires.
I NEED you god, I'm falling apart! my life's just beginning yet i don't know where to start, you comfort me in my times of treacherous need, I don't feel worthy of the promises you keep, I try so hard but life just seems to knock me down, It makes me feel weak, &like i have no one around. No one around to pick me up, to say they LOVE me or help get me unstuck. I have messed up time and time again, yet for some reason you haven't failed to continually reach out and grasp my hand. You hold me so tightly, yet your not even mortal, how come i cant seem to find that portal, The portal that will take me instantly to you. Its because i am not deserving of the things that you do. Beliefs of god are so construed some make you fear him & some are crude, some teach you he is harsh and unforgiving, yet some show his merciful spirit and wants us to continue living.
I'm confused now on what to believe, I'm trying to be strong and pushing to see what he has in store for me. Times are hard the end is near, now is when we need understand what we hold so dear.

My god, my lord, my father in heaven,
His voice, its strained, the peace he once had is no longer with him, beads of sweat coming from his skin, his hair matted with dirt, and not one of these was even his sin. His muscles so tense, the blood so dense, Jesus, I'm so very sorry, please, don’t suffer because of me , I didn’t understand then but now I see. I let you down, I caused this suffering, but I know now, ill try again, Ill try to do better I owe it to him,
Please forgive me, for i know I've done wrong, i cry to you nightly, i know Its so far gone, the trust you had in me its diminished you see, so upset how I broke my PROMISE to thee, lord i am so ashamed.. I've poured my heart out to you, though you already knew and understood. I'm alone and feel covered by a large ghastly hood, I'm afraid, so afraid, that when you come to me you'll say, 'you didn't live your life to fullest You let me down, you were foolish, you did NOT show me who i KNOW you can be, you Messed up Taylor and now you see, i cant bring you into my kingdom for i know you don't Deserve it and for that you must go its your burden to work with.'
I need Christ here, i need him here with me,
I'm shouting to you lord, begging please just help me ! i scream i need help, from a friend or Christ, anyone, Please listen and give me advice, i cant be rejected from the kingdom of heaven, its My deepest fear I'm your daughter and i NEED to see you again. I have two fathers waiting for me, one i have been longing for 6 years to see, & the other since the day i came to earth, the morning my kind mother so unselfishly gave birth. I know I'm here to be tested and tried, but what if in this small earth life I've ruined my chances to be by your side. I need your guidance your inspiration, I have to believe I'm in a good situation, i need you lord, make me be like thee. Open my eyes so i can see. i want to see what you need of me, i want to do what you have asked of me.
So i surrender to you now lord and Jesus Christ, make my soul definite and suffice, i will be courageous, adequate and strong i want to be dependable for you, as you have done for me for so long.

[My letter to Jesus, kinda,it wasn't meant to be a poem, it just kinda turned into one, its deep and emotional for me, i didn't know if i should have posted it but its my blog, and so i decided too, its kinda dark, but its just something i felt about a week ago, i don't know if its insightful to anyone but me but it sure made me open my eyes a little.]

Storms, Youth Comference,& summer

 (My favorite picture i have taken this week, its to the right of my house, during a lightning storm, i was trying to catch the lightning, i almost did, but i was like .6 second away ha[;)

~

ACT tomorrow not excited,,

so sick to my stummy ,

since in all reality that's what people say when they mix up stomach and tummy..

Youth Conference, guess i proved my self wrong,

It was amazing !!

have something to share with you ,, kinda personal,,

I'm so tired, so is everyone else on the planet,

my hands asleep not fun,

on the bright side,

i love all the girls like my little sisters,

Jazmine, Madison, Lauren & Ashley, Maddie & Jordi (true sisters)

love you[:

SUMMER so far not so bad,

Enjoying the sun shine so much, and the rain storms that occasionally come my way.

Date tonight[: love dates,

& taking as many pictures as possible,

not mention MR MACY love him to death, havent seen him in 1 year, a true role model, he shows he cares 100%, he is such an amazing man, known him since 9th grade and he changed my life the day i met him,

have a wonderful weekend

Good night[:

took this one too [: behind my houes, right before that rain storm.

Fear God?

- I do not believe we should fear god, i know i have been told that the spirit does not frighten you it comforts you, it does not make you scared it motivates you,
So why is it that I'm told that we should fear god,
Why is it that they have said it doesn't matter whats in your heart if you have not repented you cannot be forgiven. 
What about all the other people in the entire world that don't even know what repentance is?
I believe if we are honest good people we CAN make mistakes, unlike those who have told me we cant, no one on earth is perfect and that's the reason Jesus died for us so that we CAN go to live in heaven again.

[One of my Favorite Quotes]

~ God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe he doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten, Though we are incomplete God loves us Completely.. Though we are imperfect, God loves us Perfectly, Though we may feel lost and without compass, Gods love Encompasses us Completely.~

Youth Conference -

is what has brought up all these questions, hopefully its fun and we don't all fear Jesus by the end of it, but these are the things that i usually dread going to, but then end up having the best time ever,and my testimony grows because of it, have a wonderful week/weekend.