Birthday Time Once Again! LATE

So, I'm 20,

well almost,

today is my birthday,

but my birth hour is 9 o clock and my birth minute was 21..

so if were getting technical, my mom was hiking around Provo and i was calmly and contently burrowed in the womb, until i decided it was my time to hatch into the wonderful person y'all know today (:
that's a joke, seriously.

but honestly, I'm scared to be 20.. that's old. and i don't want to feel old, ever.

i don't really want to grow up,

or age,

or have responsibilities,

 as immature and selfish as that sounds,

its the truth.

 i WANT to be young and selfish, and feel good and have fun, and not care.

 i want nothing LESS than to grow older.

 its seriously scary.

 I'm glad i have friends though, to make my day the absolute best.
20 years ... yeesh
what an age...
 what have i accomplished?
growth, pain, happiness.
pure joy and Ecstasy, satisfaction, hate, animosity,
forgiveness, love, contentment.
 i love who i am.
 what i have, my blessings and what i bring to this space,
 i can give what no one else can, because i am me, the only me that there ever will be on this earth.
 i hate what i can bring as well, but my energy i love.
 I'm me. and I'm the only me i can be.
raw and imperfect. just Taylor Ashley Seegmiller.
plenty flawed, plenty talented, plenty loved and plenty blessed,
i love what i have, who i am, and more importantly who i desire to be.
i love others.
even those who don't love me back.
but the ones who do love me, I'm so grateful for and i need them.
forever in my heart. lies my gratitude and love, another year of growth lies ahead. challenge, grief, happiness, anxiety, gratitude, crazy adventures,
and too much laughter,
 many more tears,
but mostly,
 life,
experience,
and maybe one day,
 ill be ready to age,
and accept the responsibility that comes with that,
but for now, i can only be me and live for right now.
one more year of me.

birthday unicorn!
considering i meant to post this on August 27 2012, but didn't get around to it until October seventeenth approximately 47 days late, i should say something like, I'm too busy to blog anymore, even though this blog used to be the most important thing to me, i honestly wish i had an excuse to why i never write anymore, because writing is what makes me happy.
 but i don't have a n excuse, my excuse was i just didn't do it. i thought about it yes but never got around to it, and then it has been so long you almost don't know where to start. that's all. so i guess ill start over.

 Pizza Factory Birthday dinner.

its interesting to read this. something i wrote on my birthday and now Ive been 20 years old for 47 days. and i still meant every word of what i previously said, even worse though, i feel as though i have become more of what i wrote about versus gently aging and realizing i am grown and mature, i thought maybe i would start to see who i am. i haven't. i think I'm more confused now. oh well. that's life. and I'm still living. breathing. sometimes barely. sometimes too much, but I'm here. and just trying to figure out what my purpose in this space is supposed to be.
..life..
its all shits and giggles, until someone giggles and shits..

 fruit pie cake

 My Britters!

 koby

Gracie Lou

 roses from Ky Ky

 I'm 20 baby, says the pizza!

 thanks for the best party ever babe!

 

All said and done, im happy !

 

Spring Break.

so this term usually means something fun and exciting.

 well to most college students,

but i opted for the path of least partysistence..

OK so i went home.. too the cold.. why ? don't ask. because i seriously have no answer.

and then i-

spent sometime with Meranda and baby tae, (named after me) (:

went to basketball,(long story follows this)

went to Tepanyaki (DELISH)

saw 'The Adjustment Bureau' (favorite movie of all time.) i highly recommend,

became more amazed by Karen Carpenter.. i watch a video of her every day..

critiqued a dance team, (i seriously miss dancing)

Had an amazing fun sleep over with Nat who i love![:

then spent 2 whole ENTIRE days at dance competition, the only difference was this year all i did was watch since I'm not on the comp teams anymore,

and visited my favorite family in the whole world! the Bassett family and got the most exciting news ever ! they are having another baby!!

 i am in love with babies! well all kids really, unless their evil, then I'm not a huge fan.

Ok well, the end.

Only 6 weeks left of school !

Viva ... Las Vegas

Vegas, walked the strip,laughed really hard, had sore feet, exnae on heals next time, got hit on by nasties, gave someone a fake number and ran away, and decided I'm so very grateful that i live in a place i feel safe! driving off the strip into down town Las Vegas we were a bit fearful that every one in a black hood is either

 A) a gangster

B) a thug or

C) a gang banger,

but all in all it was a very eventful... fun trip!

breanna, meranda, me

MGM

Mr Bam Bam

i think Michael Jackson is still alive and just staged his death...

Oh my gosh ! HOLLY MADISON if me and meranda could have seen her, it would have made our lives complete.

some day that will be the REAL deal Eiffel tower !

and i was in love with this chandelier, i wanted to rip it out of the ceiling and take it home with me while me and Jared slept in the front of hollister for hours waiting, and waiting,,, and waiting!!

Caesars palace? or the Belagio, cant remember we were lost in a maze of casinos, but the ceiling was way cool, and I'm in love with Celine Deon.

yay Vegas, next time no boy friends and girlfriends coming who fight the whole time and ruin our plans , good thing me and Meranda had each other!

DisneyLand. Day 1&2

Although this is long overdue ...

we went to California, for my great aunts wedding and then to go to Disneyland with the cousins,

our trip was awesome,

(according to a friend , I'm the only person on the planet who still says awesome.. does no one else say that ? is it a thing of the past now? whats the new phrase..? oh "that's tight" alright well i guess I'm old fashioned... but i still love the word AWESOME!)

now that that little tangent is over, back to the vacation.

Disney Land
Day 1 :
park at 9, go to Indiana, splash (might i add this is the 1st year i didn't cry or wet myself, and considering we go to Disney every year... that's a big step for me), haunted mansion (totally re done for Halloween, freakin awesome), thunder mountain, churros, do a little skipping, then stay at the park till midnight with the sister Maddie, and chase the cousin.

don't know the people in the front... but that kid just looks a little too happy for being on splash mountain.

Day 2:

Another early morning, drag the cousin out of bed, wait in some lines, take some pictures, make some faces, space mountain is awesome. eat some lunch. laugh some what hard, take some more pictures, and some more... and some more.

7. am.

 me and kens on space

 my score, killed everyone else's score

 cosmic commando, that's me

 soarin over California, [Favorite]

 we were acting scared

 ya that one in the middle in back all alone, that's me,, everyone ditched me with no one but myself to hold onto... rude!! plus i was screaming really loud so they went deaf and I'm sure that added to the whole "lets ditch Taylor on tower of terror gig"

 "where hehe meets haha" loved it

 love this boy, i wish i was skinny enough to squish behind a garbage can ha.

 I'm pretty sure we went on screamin one too many times.

 my sweet chelsiekins had a nap...

 and Gaigey boy had a tantrum...

 & I'm AWESOME

 it was pouring rain

so we skated on it.

Chelsie laughed...

 & Gaige pooped ...

 its a small world [favorite]

 he finally said my name!

 of course we had to wait in line for 2 HOURS !! to see mickey.

 Gavin boy, best bud the whole trip, except when he picked his nose and held my hand...

next post will include days 3 & 4,

there is just way to many pictures for one post!

keep smiling!

 happy Tuesday

California Girl

Going to the beach consists of..

[art]

[cousins]

[Family]

[Gaigey boy, who i love, he found a puddle just his size.]

[my chelsiekins who i love so stinkin much.] 

we were walking by the edge of the rocks, and we got attacked by a huge wave, we both were drenched!

[and the cousins family pictures]

California.

so many good memories made every time we visit.

I miss being around all my cousins, there is something about being with them that makes me feel like i can do anything. Im unconditionally loved, and I'm me, that's all anyone expects me to be, and I'm content.

I miss the Humidity, weird i know, it does wonders for my skin though, I miss the smell of laundry that's there.

Mostly i miss the feeling of euphoria vacation brings, no worries, all fun.

One day, ill live on the beach.