No one should have to feel this way.

No one

 should have to feel this way,

this is why im working toward the proffession i am.

 i want to help people,

everyone needs to just be loved.

i cried right along with this little boy.

make someone  feel better today,

not worse.

No november posts?

 That's so sad, i didn't realize how long it has been since i have updated.

 i guess life's not currently the most interesting...

 only 6 more days of school that's exciting! 

 then 4  days of finals! thanksgiving was EXCELLENT as was Halloween which i got to spend with my cute cousins and family !

This Thanksgiving I'm very grateful for...

my mom and the love she shows me

my grandmother and the time we spend together

my sisters and the friends were becoming

my country

my body, healthy strong and able

when my stomach tells me I'm full but i still have pie to eat

my talents

my gospel

my testimony

laughter

smiles

endless opportunities

I'm grateful for my life.

Happy December first!!

make this month the most joyful

and give love and blessings

to all who surround you.

Halloween

 do this face chelc... close... 

 my pooh bear trick or treat buddy !

Thailand. " sometimes its entirely appropriate to kill a fly with a sledgehammer"

Sunday June 19th:

-quote " i have mountain dew " - Taylor

we got to the school today and finished refurbishing the play set. then i was helping move the equipment around and i grabbed this this play set piece with Nat and there was a giant metal basketball hoop that i obviously did not see and i nailed my face into it my head ricocheted off, everyone saw and laughed and it was one of those moments where i was biting my tongue trying not to cry.

 Before!                                                       After!

Then i found a frog, and we started work in the garden.. weeding, DE-giant-bugging the place, McKay threw a worm on me, that's right. we dug holes with spoons because there were no shovels and then guess who decides to show up? J'pan he comes barreling back to the garden yelling "wheres Taylor wheres Taylor!!", of course he found a GIANT centipede and so kindly brought it over to freak me out!

me and Shandy, spoons in hand.

our garden crew! doing it the way gardeners do.

Aww J'pan your too kind!

After a long day of digging we crashed in front of the fan and then ventured off to the market..

 -can you say anxiety attack ? the pungent smell is indescribable, fried cockroaches, too many people, pretty sure i developed agoraphobia within 7 seconds of being there. I had to use the bathroom but wouldn't, squatter? no thank you.

Me and Mad in the market place.

McKay came to the rescue, led me to the less crowded area where i bought a delicious bag of mangosteen, and a chocolate crepe that a local woman was so sweet to help me wrap and eat sufficiently, she didn't speak English, i obviously don't speak Thai, but with a lot of pointing, gesturing, and hand motions she managed to get me to lend her my crepe, which she then moved, and adjusted, folded and then tied a plastic bag to the bottom so it didn't spill and gave it back for me to indulge in.

lesson: not everyone is trying to take advantage of you here so breathe !

back to the hotel, took an awesome **** that was long overdue, showered, ate din din, laughed so hard i spewed water everywhere, ate Thai pizza, nice gesture, but they should probably just stick to cooking Thai food.

-Sacrament meeting

in the basement of a transvestite bar,

in sweat pants,

somehow the spirit was still just as strong

and ever present,

no matter where you go,

 or what situation your in,

 the spirit is the same,

and now I'm in bed and I'm pretty sure there is a bug on me.. goodnight,

 PS my body is sore everywhere!

On a Side note:

only in Thailand is it OK to lay on the ground and mimic the dog.

Monday, 20th:

-quote " my mind is bedazzled" -Maddie.

up at 6:00, school by 7:00. I SAW NOON TODAY !!!! she ran and gave me the biggest hug ! i was so excited ! the rotary club of Phang Nga showed up and they were snatching us up left and right to snap pictures.

 The cultural committee, we worked hard today, we... planned the mural... and painted nails... the boys were our number one fans though!

I then assisted Nat in her lesson Phonemics? resulting in the story of the 3 little pigs, me, i was pig 3.

home by 6:00 Tesco for some AMERICAN treats, Twix, Pringles, Chocolate, Coke, junk, junk, OH and MORE JUNK. 

except some of that junk was Thai version of American junk, resulting in sushi  and shrimp flavored chips ... that's not OK.

At dinner me and Nat were giving each other hand massages because they were sore, out of the random Maddie throws her arm around me.. I'm like UH?? she is all " i just got jealous"

I love these kids,

i feel like they have so much less than us,

 and yet they are so much happier than us!

 less is more we always say,

were here to change their lives

 but their changing mine so much more.

 - i literally read this scripture 10

seconds after closing my journal

D&C:56

" blessed are the poor who are pure in heart, for they shall inherit the earth."

Tuesday June 21st:
Breakfast 6:30, bus 6:45, Saw my noon. hauled bricks, painted our mural got mocked by the kids we did our 3 little pig skit for yesterday, great, now they associate me with a freaking pig!! and of course Luke gave them tape to further my harassment!

Ate some lunch had a minuscule freak out with a spider, kicked a dog, knocked over some chairs, spilled some lunch, pulled my self back together, tried to teach the kids how to braid, FAILED, taught guyy in a different way it worked!! and then he was teaching other kids! I'm like a proud mom! [:

Guyy

Taught my lesson! played with Jasow, Nune, Nunkarn, and Katune, and Sonya. somehow my lesson turned into this,

Favorite game = London bridges. had 1000 kids hanging on me, slipped in a mud puddle, played tag, I'm sweating like a dog, sat down, kids started fanning me with leaves and blowing on me, hah.

 Played the spin around game ( i hate it) until I'm sure their arms HAD to be tired cuz mine were about to fall off.

-Gosh i love these kids so much ! Noon practically understands everything in English, she gives me a huge hug every time i see her, they always want to hold my hand.

NOON

I had little James stuck to me all day, its overwhelming sometimes because they all just want to be touching you. SOCCER games!! i scored the only and winning goal for my team !!! tonight POOL PARTY! and playgirl show, presented by Parker, peter and Spencer. ew. PHI PHI islands tomorrow!! (pee pee) [:

Wednesday June 22nd: break from working today!! yay!

Bed, to bus, to boat, in our clothes, soaked to the bone, who said boats go on top of the water? wrong the water goes on top of the boat. but this is the most beautiful place i have ever seen!! the pictures don't do the water or mountains justice! so much water in our mouths and eyes, if i were anywhere but in Thailand i would probably not be too happy, oh my holy.

 Anyways we pull into a cove, and dive out, me and McKay went s'ploring, then i got bit by something. so i had another miniature freak out... OK it wasn't miniature actually it was HUGE. everyone was getting bit so everyone was freaking out, someone stepped on a sea urchin, 2 people and em sliced their feet open on corals, so they made us all come back into the boats. hah. whoops. off to another island

Vay, mad, me

with coconut ice cream.

with ninja moves.



and a monkey.

 we floated and had no biting fish this time, i had to pee, vayla had to pee, so we swam away to pee but then she got scared of sharks, so i got scared of sharks, so we swam back and peed by the whole group... i know its gross, but what they don't know cant hurt them, except we were afraid of vagina fishes so then we had to hold our hands over our ... when we peed so i peed on my own hand... what happens in Thailand stays there, unless its a vagina fish.

Riding back in the boat felt like we were running over whales because it was so bumpy. seriously catching air. after lots of pictures, 10 hours of direct sun, & massive sun burns, we headed back totally pooped. and decided on van #1's saying:

" sometimes its entirely appropriate to kill a fly with a sledgehammer".

a slow quiet boat ride back a good talk with Nat, she always makes me want to better myself. we spotted some wild elephants! its like seeing a jackrabbit in Utah, except different, because their ELEPHANTS!! plus they were in love... a little romance in Thailand.

I'm a little sick of Thai food, me and em are getting really close which i love! i jumped on top of Nat and she was like oh i just love you and gave me a kiss ! i love Nat! i seriously love everyone here this is the best experience ever!!!

Youthlinc Thailand 2011

quote. challenge. happy.

"i just want to be happy"

i miss my Thai kids and their cute little laughs

This song; Happy has been stuck in my head all week, i LOVE it.

"Maybe my life hasnt been so chaotic, its just the world that is and the only real trap is getting attatched to any of it. ruin is a gift, ruin is the road to transformation. always be prepared for endless waves of transformation." -Eat Pray Love



Im taking on a new challenge. everyone should try it.
-never with hold a compliment.

Thailand Vlog!

OK really I'm starting this off with my apologies, i know I'm so annoying to listen to

 if

you even do listen to it, you probably will want to die.

But... here is my video post for the days i have already written about 1 & 2, here , and here, but its so much more fun to here me blab on and on about it than to  read it right ?

If you actually watched that, well done!

if you got nothing from it because i talk ridiculously fast,

then i hope you at least laughed at my idiocy,

i just loved my trip and i want to talk about it,

 i gave a rotary presentation to the entire rotary club on Monday all by myself [gasp],

and i was so nervous but i made everyone cry and of course i cried because it was just such and amazing opportunity, and I'm so grateful really.

so i would say it was a success!

 have the most splendid rest of the week!

We are More than We are, We are One.

As you go through life you ll see, there is so much that we.. don't understand..
And the only thing we know, is things don't always go.. the way we planned..
But you'll see everyday that well never turn away, when it seems all your dreams come undone. we will stand by your side, filled with hope and filled with pride,
We are more than we are, we are one.
If there's so much i must be, can i still just be me.. the way i am..
Can i trust in my own heart, or am i just one part.. of some big plan.
Even those who are gone, are with us as we go on, your journey has only begun..
Tears of pain, tears of joy, one thing nothing can destroy,
is our pride deep inside, we are one,
family, family, we are one. family, family, we are one.
We are one you and i, we are like the earth and the sky, one family under the sun..
All the wisdom to lead of the courage that you need, you will find when you see, we are one...

just one of those days. the down kind of days, i miss my dad.

 a revelation my mom had,

The lion king.

 i watched it over and over and over again from age 2 until age 6, my pet simba that my dad got me i took everywhere, and just now im piecing together that its MY story. i bawled when mufasa died at age four,

 and i bawled today as i watched it and thought of my own dad.

 "But dont worry daddy, Hakuna Matata is up soon".

Me and My Simba, Me.

He lives in you, in your relfection

he lives in me, in my relfection

Simba, you have forgotten who you are,

 and so forgotten me.

Taylor, you have forgotten who you are,

 and so forgotten me.

Look inside your self, you are more than what you have become.

you must take your place in the circle of life.

Remember who you are

Simba,                                                                                                                                                        Taylor,

you are my child,

and the one true king.

and the one true you,

 daughter of heavenly father.

daughter of my father.

remember who you are,

remember.

Its gotta be a good life...

Do a little something to make you feel happy

...

(this week i haven't been feeling... lets just say my typical optimistic self.)

knowing this i still did nothing to change my views, then i came across This post on This wonderful blog, and realized, life is good, nothings horrible, actually a lot of good things are happening so why be sour? why be down? just enjoy this time i have been given.

so... here's the small necessities that are making my life a good life:

Good books

cute boys

Laughing so hard i cant breathe

Grandparents

Parents

The Lion King

Compliments from strangers

Elephants

The colour Sea Foam Green

Music

The Carpenters

Prayers

&

words of Encouragement

What are the small

worth while necessities

 in your life?

9/11/2001 in the eyes of a 9 year old.

[ i just skimmed through my journal and found this entry back from when i was 9]
~

My mom cried, she served her LDS mission in New York and New Jersey and it was and still is a special place in her heart, at that age i didnt understand how many people died, how many people risked their lives, the children who lost parents and families who lost loved ones.

 True heroes were born, and im so grateful to those who continue to risk their lives to protect me and my country, im proud to be and American.

~

God Bless those in need today.

Thailand. oh the stories.

Saturday June 18, 2011
so my phones an hour fast and were supposed to get up at 6:30 so for some reason i set my alarm for 5:30 thinking it was an hour back so me and Maddie are now up at 4:30, I'm really confused. so we just talked for 2 hours.

-it seriously rains SO much here, it ll be completely dry then all the sudden its torrential down pour for like 2-10 minutes then its dry again. for breakfast more shrimp porridge and then today my van went to the school YL went to last year, Wat Bang Si ad. to do construction. The grounds were SO pretty !

this temple was right in front on the school grounds.

Down to the little fish pond we went to build brick walls around it since the fish were stolen and that's the agriculture they live on. digging in mud clay seriously so hard! my sweat was pouring off my face like i was in the shower. hammering huge walls down with mallets, is a great way to take out your anger! the rain comes ! were so grateful and instead of taking a "rain break" we stood in the rain and danced in the rain and said prayers of gratitude for the rain. once we were soaked to the bone, it did actually get a bit chilly so we stood under a building and all these little kids were there so we watched them play a game and then me and Nat had them teach us how to play!

we hauled 1000 pound pillars,and mixed cement.
ate some lunch, actually the BEST meal i had in Thailand. it wasn't risky or unsanitary and it tasted AMAZING, why because we topped it off with MANGO STICKY RICE!!!!!!

back to work, covered in mud, in our teeth in our hair all over our bodies because when you smash something covered in mud it comes flying right? so i ask J'pan, "what is it were smashing down anyways?" J'pans reply " a toilet" my reply " oh joy so this mud that's in my teeth is actually poop.. Wonderful"

smashing and sloshing in poop/mud.

later i find a bug a cool bug a caterpillar type bug and i say hey look at this cool bug to J'pan, he follows my statement with "ya that bug actually turns into a bat" my reply " really that's sooo cool!! hey everyone look at this caterpillar it turns into a bat!!! i didn't know bats grew like butterflies"
his reply "jk its just a bug"
everyone Else's reply " hahahahah TAYLOR thought bats hatched from caterpillars!!!"
the rest of the day i had random people coming up to me saying " hey Taylor i found this cool bug that turns into a bat"
NATALIE!!!!! told everyone.

See the brown stuff on her neck ? its poop.

after our hard work we played soccer, fell in mud puddles, played tag and red rover with some slippery speedy little Thai kids, and J'pan continued to tease me by rubbing leaves and sticks on my legs so i would freak out thinking they were bugs!!!

found this photo on FB "jpan playing tricks on taylor"

so true that stink!!!

-Last highlight adventure of today: after dinner we went into the basement where we find a gecko literally the length of my elbow to my finger tips !!!! so everyone gathers around given there were at least 40 of us and I'm at the very front, with Vay, she says:
 " someone put their hand up by it to give it dimension"
so me willingly stood a good five feet from it and held my hand in the air, then my most wonderful sister says no get closer and gives me a good shove. at the same time, someone snaps a picture so a flash goes off ....were all blind and the the dang hulk like gecko leaps off the wall!!
of course what do i do ? get the heck out of there is what i do,  because I'm the closest one to it, and its a flying monster  lizard coming at me, so in the midst of 40 million blood curdling screams me and vayla end up on top of each other on the other side of the room. oh and my heart was beating fast as a machine gun!!

i hope i get to see Nune tomorrow i missed her today.

it was such a good day,

I'm so grateful I'm here,

even though i was covered in feces and mud all day

Good night !

I LOVE THAILAND