I just want to be a kid again.
Innocent and worry free.
I'm not a down person..
but lately i just feel sick and so stressed.
I cant stop crying. I feel like its all I do.
I know what an aneurysm feels like.. I have the feeling in my brain everyday.
and this stupid stupid demon ,
alter ego.
a disease?
sits at the back of my mind.
all the time.
something i fight off every second of every day but of course, when I'm weak and I'm down.
It grabs hold and strangles me.
It seeps into me. like a poisonous gas. and it wont let go and I don't want it here. It took so long to get rid of.
Its not even fully gone obviously.
but then it so easily just comes back. so ridiculously strong. like it never left. like my drug, and I just relapsed. I don't get it and its not fair. please just leave me alone.
a show. I believe has and is changing the world..
you would know that i have had eating disorders. for years.
If you really knew me,
you would know that it never leaves.. not really.
It will always be a part of us. a part of me. taunting me and pushing me down.
you would know i fight it EVERY day and,
you would know how much i hate it.
i hate me.
for letting it in.
letting it take over, consume, control and destroy me.
I just want it to go away.
but again its also like friend to me. Its been there whenever something goes wrong. whenever I'm mad or upset, depressed, or just ashamed, its always right there to catch me when i fall, and comfort me in way ? sick i know. i guess I'm just sick.
I don't want to be down or depressed i just want to be alive and happy! its almost Christmas for Pete's sake come on ! just snap out of.
Does anyone else talk to them selves. or just me?
is anyone else sick ?
messed up?
sad?
frustrated?
pissed?
if we really knew you
what is
it?
...
I love this show. I cry almost every single episode!
ReplyDeleteI believe each one of us is super strong, but you just have to find that strength in you. I believe you can get through anything. yes, I talk to myself all the time.
If you really knew me, you'd know that I hate my face.. the acne on it. It won't go away and it's consumed my life every morning, day , and night.
You are not the only one who feels this way hun! I do too sometimes. It is hard when you get into a funk or a depression but I know at least for me it goes in fases and eventually (with a little prayer) I start to feel better.
ReplyDeleteAbout the purse...it is 40 dollars but with the 15% it would be $34 (+shipping) Don't feel obligated to buy it I just thought I'd offer it to you first. Let me know as soon as possible so if you don't want it I can offer it to someone else. :-)
Amazing post.
ReplyDelete<3